The Sun was High

I have nothing against fart jokes. I personally find it hilarious to be in a situation where Brian is 10 cm away from you at an Experimental/Psychedelic gig and lets out a discreet (but ill-judged from your stand point) fart. But, having a comedian from Liverpool (tags: Unemployed) at a comedy club in Old street on a Wednesday night describe you how he took a shit in a public bathroom in Somerset, not funny. Maybe if he had a retardation, the joke would be funnier, but unfortunately for him Liverpool accents are not only not funny, but they are excruciatingly irritating.

The fact still remains. Jews: Funny. English: Not Funny.

Sun was high (So was I) - Best Coast


Up all night - Best Coast

Florence and the Machine Launch Party

Hit me up if you're interested

Day Man

Day Man-It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - watch more funny videos

Reason #485 that American TV Shows are better than British TV shows.

My name is Season

Why do people feed pigeons? Entertainment? Are flock of birds attacking you for a breadcrumb entertaining? I mean, it is the recession. Is it really necessary to give out our groceries to a pigeons? Sure, if the creature is cute, might be worth keeping it alive, but pigeons? Personally, I think I'd be comfortable with a pigeon genocide, the Holocaust didn't seem all too bad. At the end of the day, the fact remains: Pigeons are the equivalent of flies minus the atomic shitting.

In other news, during one of my "I'm 19, I have a fringe and I like Indie" moods, I went to White Heat. Now, I don't think that it's ever acceptable to chat up a girl in a club. Unless if you look like Robert Pattinson or hell, Kristen Stewart. Or a combination (the picture above represent such), you know something different than the "I'm 22, English, and a Virgin" look (the picture above does not represent such). But, at the end of the day, I'll give them credit for not giving up. Because if I were to resort to chatting up underage girls at a club, I'd probably turn to an overdose of pain killers. Mainly because I wouldn't be able to afford other suicidal methods.


Chains - Pocahaunted


No More Women - Pocahaunted


Pocahaunted Myspace

The Porn Issue

Pre Youtube days. When your friend Kyle would brag about the latest Playboy issue he stole from his dad. Getting a hold of porn was a pretty difficult task.
A. There was the dial up connection. In other words, the sort of connection that would give you a 10MB anal sex scene for a minimum wait of 4 hours.
B. Streaming didn't really exist. Instead, we had GIF images of tits in motion.
My point is, we've come a long way from idolizing 18 year olds for being able to purchase a VHS of Jenna Jameson getting fucked.
Here are my top 5 best sex sites.

1. XVIDEOS (Includes classics such as "Horny slut pees while penis pops out of the wall")



2. PornHub (Direct yourself to Categories, just for those days you can't make your mind on whether you want to see Anal or Hentai)



3. Sextube (Full lenght dvds - Not recommended for Pre-matures)



4. Xtube (Nothing special with this one, mainly fills the top 4 box)






5. Isohunt/Adult (For those who prefer a night without a possible 'streaming interruption')

No, it's a satchel... Indiana Jones has one.

Who would of thought that the reason women are needy/psycho/insane wasn't tits or vaginas, but a pill. The birth control pill. Yes, apparently it prevents us from abortions or trailer trash, but does it prevent us from smashing Kyle's head against the door? No. What the pill does, is put the idea of smashing Kyle's head, in addition to giving you the right fucked up hormones also known as a mixture of hatred and depression, in order for you to execute such thought.
10 am. Bowl of Special K. Facebook. Myspace. Ninjavideos. No pill. It's a new beginning. Clemence Poles uses condoms.



You Think - Kreviss


Unveiled - Kreviss


Scratch Records Myspace

It's funny because he's fat

Name. Favorite Department. Common Interest. Gift from Harrods.
3 Hours in a room filled with unemployed individuals. You'd think that I'd be interested in hearing each of their names, or how they'd love a Harrods TeddyBear because it reminded them of their father abusing them. Truth is, in result of such experience, I wish to remain unemployed and useless. I mean, what happened to the conventional interviewing process?
Hello, my name is Clemence Poles, I have great customer service skills and penis skills.
BAM. Employed. Well, at American Apparel the least.




Bowie Knives - Mazes


I Don't want to know - Mazes

Mazes Myspace