Telephone Call (Dubai Edition)

Friend: Hey, do you want to come down to Cavalli? You won't have to pay anything, these rich guys will cover everything! It'll be so much fun, we'll dance on tables, it'll be so funny!
(Me: MOM...can I go to this club tonight?)
(Mom: Sure, do whatever you want honey.)
Me: Yeah, my mom says I can't go out.

Next Day.

Me: Hey, do you want to come down to Book World with me? Apparently they have the largest/only comic book selection in Dubai...isn't that crazy!
Friend: I guess.
Me: So say 4pm?
Friend: Yeah, I'm busy.

Feels great to be back in Dubai.

The Lana Del Report (Dubai Edition)

When AllMusic gave Chris Brown's Graffiti 1/5, I bought it anyway, only to regret it 6 mins into the album.
Well, here I am, lying in my Princess Tam Tam bikini in some ethereal beach in Dubai, once again, ignoring AllMusic, and giving Lana Del Rey's Born To Die a shot. Call me a philanthropist, but I'm a firm believer that everyone deserves a chance, just like Elena did for Damon in the Vampire Diaries.

Sigh...where do I start..."Money is the reason we exist, everybody knows it, it's a fact, kiss kiss"?
Rey, why would writing abysmal lyrics work for you if it didn't work for Diddy Dirty Money?
You think hiring Al Shux or Emile Haynie will make people look the other way? No Rey, not when your album is all over the place.
Great, now I look stupid for having told everyone that I liked Lana Del Rey.
There goes the little music cred I had.

(INSTEAD) CLEMENCE RECOMMENDS

MARK HOLLIS 

Mark Hollis - A Life (1895-1915)

For those considering playing the field...

...this is what's out there...everywhere.

For those wondering what Patrick Poles has been up to...

...he's been busy being alt.

Clemence Recommends: Preacher

In honor of finishing the Preacher series, I shall read no comic book today.

Forever and always, Tulip O'Harre & Jesse Custer.

Heart.

Uptight Roommate Loses In Court

After a year of trying to set up a court hearing, Uptight Psychotic Roommate finally settled by giving my full deposit back. To be honest, I'm surprised it went that far, I mean what kind of person just refuses to give back your deposit, after you've threatened legal actions? Well, you meet all sorts of people in London.
Hear hear for a positive start to the new year, a year with no negative roommates, no legal battles, and a new haircut.

CLEMENCE RECOMMENDS...

MICKEY NEWBURY

An American Trilogy - Mickey Newbury

Heaven Help The Child - Mickey Newbury

Netflix VS LoveFilm Instant

Dear Netflix,

Totally excited you guys finally made it to the UK! I signed up to your free trial as soon as I found out! Anyways, enough with the small talk...where the fuck is my Instant Queue? Why do you know nothing about my movie preferences when I've given you more than 100 suggestions through ratings? Do you really think I want to watch 'In The Bedroom' a story about a love affair between a teenager and a single mom? The answer is no Netflix, no I have no desire to watch 'In The Bedroom'. Also Netflix, when I click 'Not Interested' to one of your suggestions, do you think I'm just messing around and want you to put that suggestion back on 10 minutes later? What is your problem? I told you I don't want to watch 'Super Size Me', stop telling me to watch it Netflix! And don't think that I'm not on to you when your next suggestion is 'Super High Me'.
All I'm trying to say is, Netflix, maybe you should re-think your international strategy. Maybe, competing with LoveFilm's cheaper, bigger and better streaming collection wasn't the world's best idea when you didn't have enough content to start with? Or perhaps, instead of releasing a statement saying that you'll eventually get better, you could of postponed your launch to when you've acquired a few more licensing deals.
But hey, I'm sure you guys know what you're doing and that your recent 67.8% downfall in value will be sorted out once you've got all your angry investors off your back.

Best,
Clemence Poles